The Goodies Vault: So you think you're a looney?

Why not make up your mind one way or the other?
Remember, indecision can drive you nuts. it definitely is best to know about these things - then you can either capitalise on it (if people KNOW you're off your rocker you can get away with murder - literally! - You'll get invited to lots of parties, and, at the very least, you'll feel jolly importamt, 'cos everyone will stare at you).***
Or you can be cured

and one of our vans will call discreetly DIRECT TO YOUR HOME. DR GARDEN will give you a thorough "LOONEY TEST" in the comfort of your lavatory - AND it DOESN'T HURT A BIT. The test is ABSOLUTELY FREE. Within 5 days you will receive DR GARDEN'S REPORT. If he

considers you are NOT A LOONY, you NEED pay ABSOLUTELY NOTHING - you CAN pay something if you like - or give him a present at least - but if you WANT to be a stingy sod - you NEED pay nothing.

if DR GARDEN considers YOU ARE A LOONY - you may decide to just accept it and, once again, you NEED PAD NOTHING - and our van will simply drive away, after circling your home for 2 hours blasting out its distinctive siren call of "LOO-NEE-LOO-NEE".
Our Van

you may opt for treatment and a visit to The Funny Farm